The Bitter End

Your violent tongue takes hold of me as I lie dying in the pool of hate you centered around me. Grasping at a black heart that continues to spew venom. Walking away would have been harder than continuously taking the beatings you give me. There is faith in this hurt. What’s left of this existence is crumbling into the ash you see before you. I will never know why you abandoned me and left me in a tomb of hurt. With bloodshot eyes, I will stare back at you, and you will see, the hell you created was never meant for me.

Refracted Pain

As night falls upon us we are cascaded by the stars that stream through the galaxy. Each star stands for the lives we have lived. Together and apart we are searching once again, for that light that shines within.

Through sacred glances I can see, the love of another meant for me. I stand still under the night sky…the chilled breeze screaming at me. Watching the illusion of my life bending under the remaining hell sent to caress this stale heart of mine. Shattered, beaten, and broken, my gaze is fixed on the trama that sinks in me. The life of another tearing at the remaining life breathing within me.

I can no longer feel this life that is draining me. The world that surrounds me is now the one that surrounds the beaconed light on the sea. I slip selfishly into a coma of hurt so I can no longer feel the fate that was given to me. Saddled with the aging destiny that we once shared, I begin to crawl through a tunnel entangled with each lie you told. Stand back and view this world as one you can never hold.  Trembling with the shard in my hand, I slice my skin for you to see, this life you love will now drain from me.

 

You said hello…

A fragrant cascade of tears flow from my life as I sit here shadowed by your lack of evolution. I cradle the last of this life in a dirty hand holding everything that was ever spilled from your heart. Small and useless I bury it in a small canal in my own beating organ.  Your pieces are now my pieces, all you felt is now what I feel. Never will I know the way life should have been, always sheltered by a fate that you created and shoved me into. Why does the hell you show me become home to me. Grasping at a hope that faded with the shallow breath I take as I cover this lifeless body with the dirt of a grave I had to dig myself. Even in death, I am not worth the mourning you should have given me. Sit back and watch this soul decay into a space that only holds a place for the time we never shared. Emotionless in thought and bent like refracting light, I will fill the catacombs in my mind with the shards of hell you threw at me with that first hello.

Crimson Tide

Drenched in your blood, I surrender to the night sky. Silence fills the air as I tremble under the life that stains my body.  The life that I sought was not the one I wanted to take. I trace your lips in the life you gave as I kiss them goodbye. I can’t free myself from you so I begin to heal in the christening I have given myself. Pitch black is the heart that allowed you to fall into my hands and remove the hurt by letting it drain from you. The tears that fall are not my own but of those before me. Realizing all that was lost was because of them, it was never you. Simple is the love the has encased your heart, sweeping back the ribbon of crimson, I close your eyes one last time and whisper in your ear, “You my dear are the beauty this earth has never seen, now lay yourself to rest, as I take this drowning life from me.”

Winter’s Rest

Tattered and torn, I now rummage the halls of a hollow heart. Suffocated by the silence that continues to build in my own head. The life planted within me has turned to ash before it ever had a chance. I am not who I used to be, and I will never be who I was again. Shadowed by my own thoughts, I try to scrape the walls of this dying soul. With nothing left to grasp, I lay my hands upon my chest, close my eyes, and remain in this winter’s rest.

Escape plan

Trapped underneath the disheveled beating heart I devise a plan to escape this tragedy I am equipped with. A void in the sea of tranquility I am drifting toward a shore that never existed. Rushing into a fate that was devised lifetimes ago only to see the peace past through me. Anchoring my soul into a spanning tree of rooted eternity. I will lay still under the darkening sky and count the stars as they turn into the days apart from you. The knowledge of where we once were is sitting silently under the melting youth we no longer fear. Retrieving the rhythm of your last breath, I sit entangled in my own soul watching yesterday stream through my thoughts as the world of tomorrow is forming beat by beat within your heart. I will never escape you, even if there is a plan in place to try…a map of charted love is bringing my soul to yours…there is no resisting, there is no more struggle, there is only surrender…disbanding the escape and surrendering into the world that was created upon the first breath into our souls.