dark depression

I dig my claws into the ground as you pull me towards my demons. I am not safe and you should run. My soul is twisted and black and dying every day. It’s not worth loving me, I am not worth it. Reckless and dying daily. The heavens above placed me on this earth to be a wandering soul. Never to be happy and forever searching for someone like you. The someone like you exists because it is you,  but I’m not allowed to touch you. I will spend every day of my life in anguish wishing for you.  I will just die a thousand times. My life will shatter into a million pieces more. I will turn to dust,  to be forgotten, I blow into the wind and never heard from again.




You like tormenting me. Don’t waste your prayers on me. I am not worth the breath you will breathe to say them. You have made it clear with your mentally shattering bombs that I am no one. Day after day you pull me close and then you drag me down. The torment once placed on you is now placed on me. You found your freedom through torturing me and it will never be expected that I will find mine as long as you continue.

Death of me…


Yes,  I have thought about it. Slicing the skin, feeling the warmth of life flow from me. Feeling the fading of my mind, feeling my heartbeat slow down, feeling my consciousness go away, feeling everything melt away, feeling my skin grow cold as it sits in the warm puddle of my soul.  My breath shallowing as I search for the last word to you. Slicing through Clarity knowing the only thing that’s clear, nothing in this world is happiness to me.

Letter to God: Rejection

Dear God,

The fact that I am still living and not dead is a form of rejection. The fact that you put him in my life and you you’re going to yank him away from me is a form of rejection. What did I do cuz these aren’t lessons it’s rejection. All I feel is rejection and I’m tired of feeling this misery.  The fact that you’re making me continue this life is a form of rejection. Stop rejecting me and just kill me.