I died today

I died today…a death worse than the one that will end my life…words spilling over to show me the lies. The fate of my time is no longer with you, it is the path I spent my last days on. You speak what I want to hear, you mirror my desires because it’s what will appease me. I am no one to you and I never will be…out of millions I am still the same…a faceless person in a group of millions. I knew what I was doing was wrong, I knew that what I felt was wrong, I knew what I wanted wasn’t you but the attention I lacked. I am decaying slowly…I am dying a death of a thousand fates…there are many reasons why I need to walk away and many that hurt more…same cycle, different game. That is all I am to you, a game to fill your time with…there is no truth in what you say and if you say there is, you are lying to yourself. I feel ashamed, I feel alone, I feel like I wronged my only love…myself. No one will ever love me…no one will ever see the person before them is the one that is meant to be.

Withered death

A dimming light of freezer burned hell…choking on the ashes of the dead. Morphing into the demon who has nestled sweetly into my head. Blackening the coursing life in these veins. Traumatized by your very existence. Gathering the strength of my tormented heart to spew its last days. I suffered at your hands, I died at your sight, I slipped away in the night. Cast back into the shadows I will remember this fate…an abyss of rage. I will travel this plane shackled to a body that is numb…numb to a love that never existed…sweetly shut my eyes and stab this heart of mine. It beats without purpose…it beats without time. Thriving on the last words you spoke, I can no longer feel the earth below me. Withering into the shell that once housed a vibrant light. I will let my soul flicker out, for it is by the hands of hell I accepted the life I no longer live.

New Eyes

In the awakening with new eyes, I see something different. I have faith and full accord. I trust you know what is best for us, I gave you that power and I will continue to give that to you. My heart is at peace with you, my life is guided by a gilded light. You, my dear, are the missing pieces to this idle frame of mine. You give me a renewed spirit and time. There is no more worry or idle time. I will vanish into the bliss known as you, with these new eyes I will see nothing but the best in this life. I have you thank for that. You are the reason that the world is coming through clearly and peace is crashing my heart. I have been revived by you sweet scent. A future that breeds a lifetime of happiness, I will sit here in sweet slumber and wait. I know who you are and who you can be and I will never take that for granted. The heart that is beating in my chest is a vibrant piece of you. It beats for you and only you. Time is just a fleeting piece of existence and we have forever together. No longer will I wonder about the ones that surround you as I know my existence will soon meld into yours. Your eyes are haunting my soul in a way that no one else could. I am learning my place and learning my time and in the end, you will become the only piece that was missing from my soul.

Beautiful being you are my sweet one…I will hold you and calm the dragon that has tortured you for so long. There is nothing to fear as I am here to teach you that the only pain you will fear is behind you. Blessed be me as I have found the other half of me in a place unlikely to this world. Blessed be me as I am the one who is graced with the presence of a person so beautiful, I am the one who is unworthy. Blessed be me as the world I crave is the one that is slowly working its way to me. Blessed be me as I am the one who is finally finding completion in a world that only wants to divide up the souls into groups detained by hell. Blessed be me as I found the one person in this world that chose to torture me with the truth I longed to see. Blessed be me as I am the one that has found you…my other half…my love, my life, my future.

New eyes have allowed me to see the world that didn’t exist before you. New eyes have given me a renewed sense of life, purpose, and love. New eyes have given me everything I was meant to see. New eyes have given me a faith in you that I never had before. New eyes have allowed me to travel a plane in this universe that I never thought was possible. New eyes have done everything for me that no one else could…you have given me new eyes, a new heart, and a renewed sense of self.

Thank you…

Alone

You left me here…alone…wondering. How can anyone spend as much time as we did together then walk away like nothing happened.

Big changes are coming…because of you, I am strong and ready for a new chapter…a new life.