No tears…


This time, there were no tears…a heaviness in my chest but no tears. I think because of that, my body is breaking down now. I hurt all over, I physically hurt because I can no longer be emotionally attached. I tried to cry, I really did, but no tears came. Our bodies are a funny thing when we can’t grieve in one way, it takes over in another…Not sure what all this means. Have we just had so many breakups that I know this isn’t it or am I just done? Questions, I just don’t have an answer for…confusion is what follows me now.

No, I am not happy, I do know that, I know that my thoughts are still flooded with you but I know that I am not happy or sad. I’m in limbo…in a stand still waiting…wondering. What is going on with all of this…what does God know that I don’t? The right side of my body is in full pain…I miss you!


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